Top 10 Things the State of Agile Development Survey WON’T Tell You

Every year we publish the highly anticipated results of our State of Agile Development Survey. And every year we see momentum for agile climb, supported by consistent business benefits (faster time to market, ability to manage changing priorities, better alignment between IT and business objectives, blah, blah, blah). ZZZZZZ, right?

I could list out some of the interesting stats here. Or, I could trust you will check them out on your own and instead – use this time to list the Top 10 Things the State of Agile Development Survey Will NOT Tell You:

1. Where to find free beer 24/7? No need to consult a survey for that. Just get a job at VersionOne, where there’s always free (and cold) beer on tap. Good beer, too. Otherwise, you’re on your own.

2. Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm, what chicken? Put the crack pipe down.

3. Who shot J.R.? Ok, so I just realized that many of you might be too young to know WTF I’m talking about. It was a rather lame (but once cool) TV show in the late ‘70s with plenty of drama, cheese, big hair and too much makeup. See Dallas.

4. Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights? To this I say, “why not???” Did he need a reason?

5. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? I don’t know about you, but owls kind of creep me out. Especially owls that lick. Why not a kitten, or a baby? And who ever made it that far anyway? Didn’t you just bite into the whole damn thing after a minute or two?

6. Do sheep get static cling when they rub against each other? Sounds like a fun Friday evening to me.

7. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Ha-Ha! This reminds me

jim-gaffigan-happy-and-you-know-it

of a great Tweet I saw the other day from my favorite comedian: “There should be a children’s song “If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your Dad sleep.”

8. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? This is an age-old mystery. Maybe the sick people who enjoy this are the same ones who bake cookies all the way to 17 minutes when the directions read “13 to 17 minutes.” Everyone knows this clearly means no more than 11 or 12.

9. Why do birds have white poop? They don’t know any better.

10. Why anyone is still doing waterfall? Probably the same reason birds have white poop.

In all seriousness, I wanted to know what you think of this year’s results? If you’ve seen previous reports, you’ll notice some of this stuff remains relatively constant every year. But new questions were added in 2012, making this IMHO the most interesting report yet.

We covered the usual suspects plus some new topics, including:

  • Agile Portfolio Management (APM) trends
  • Top lessons learned when scaling agile
  • How teams typically carry out the role of the ScrumMaster
  • Most popular agile methodologies, techniques and tools
  • Things people wish they could say to their company president about agile

Grab the full report now and share it with your team.  Then let me know what you think.

 

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